


Unsettling

by coldfusion9797



Series: Unsettling [1]
Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Crack, Dexter references, Hook-Up, Multi, Necrophilia references, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Sibling fights, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 01:24:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 14,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19074652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldfusion9797/pseuds/coldfusion9797
Summary: Kol is having a hard time dealing with his feelings for Jeremy. AU from 3.22.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter fic I ever wrote. That was back in Nov/Dec 2012 and I was so proud of it. It's pretty rough, but I've decided to transfer it over here from FanFiction as is. It still gets a bit of a response over there, so I thought some people here might like to take a look. I'm not active in this fandom anymore, I never even finished watching the show, this fic was mainly inspired by Nate and Steven when I saw them together at a convention.

Something's wrong. It's unsettling. It's a feeling Kol would like to make disappear but he can't do that unless he figures out what's causing it. Looking up at the dead vampire pinned to the wall it's just not quite as satisfying as it should be, as it's always been. Maybe it's just that he's been asleep for the last century, surely waking up after this long will take some adjusting to. But that thought doesn't sit quite right because Kol has never worried about anything except having a good time. What was and what might be never really enters into his thought process. Well, that's not completely true, revenge is something he's passionate about and that deals with past events. The only other thing he cares about is his family, but even that is not entirely unselfish. Sure, he does what Nick tells him to, but Nick always comes up with the best ideas. Like killing Mary for instance, it's not really a chore when he's told to do things like this. Watching that Jeremy kid had been a bore but the promise that maybe he'd get to hurt him had made Kol agree help Nick. And to make it a little more interesting he'd befriended the boy, because it's always more fun killing someone who trusts you, that moment when they realise you're betraying them is priceless. But that plan had been shot down by one of those irritating Salvatores. Damon had showed up and staked him, which was a fucking rude thing to do, and taken the boy. Maybe that's what was bugging him, maybe he needed the chance to hurt Jeremy, it was kind of like unfinished business. Ghosts were bugged by it so why not a vampire?

Now Kol is waiting for Damon to show up, and he will show up because the Salvatores have this weird thing about helping their friends, they should know family is all that matters. When Damon does put in an appearance Kol can deal out some payback because that's always good. Maybe he'll even get to get to deal with Jeremy as well.

When Damon does show up he puts up enough of a fight to make it interesting and Kol gets his revenge. Unfortunately Jeremy is not with them and it's missing his chance with Jeremy that fills his thoughts not the satisfaction of beating the shit out of Damon with a baseball bat. Huh, who'd have thought it? Damnit, he'll have to go to Mystic Falls and sort this out. Kol has no idea how other people live like this, these niggling thoughts of 'what if' are going to send him batty.


	2. Chapter 2

When Kol shows up in Mystic Falls a lot has changed. Everyone's saying that Nick's dead but he's not sure he believes that. Nick is way too smart to be taken out by a bunch of amateurs like this. And he doesn't feel like Nick's dead, he's feels that Finn's dead but not Nick. For the sake of all the losers that live here they'd better hope Nick's dead, because Elena's a vampire and Nick's gonna be royally pissed off when he finds out, there'll be hell to pay. That brings a smile to Kol's face, he might just stick around long enough to see that, it sounds like loads of fun. But for now he'll seek out the irritation that is Jeremy Gilbert. Unfortunately he can't stop thinking about the brat and the sooner he's dead the better.

Being fittingly creepy for a 1000 year old vampire Kol is sulking around outside The Grill waiting for Jeremy to finish his shift. At around 9:30pm Kol sees Jeremy exit the building and begin his walk home. Kol follows from a distance, waiting for the best moment to strike. The path Jeremy takes home is a predators dream, he even cuts through the cemetery but Kol doesn't make his move. There's something about the way Jeremy's walking, the set of his shoulders, his slow pace, the way he kicks at a rock every so often. Kol's spent enough time with Jeremy to know he's upset. Kol quickens his pace to catch up with Jeremy, to find out what's wrong.

Jeremy is obviously startled when Kol falls into step beside him and Kol offers him a smile, easily falling back into the role of friend. Jeremy's surprise is quickly replaced by hostility. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" 

Ouch.

"That's no way to greet an old friend," Kol says pleasantly.

"Friend? Yeah right," scoffs Jeremy. Kol is surprisingly hurt by that, he's never actually done anything but be a friend to Jeremy. So what if his reasons were a little questionable?

Jeremy quickens his pace but Kol easily keeps up.

"What's wrong?" Kol asks and again is surprised, he actually sounds like he wants to know.

"Nothing," Jeremy spits out, "apart from the fact that I fucking hate vampires." Jeremy stops and turns to face Kol. The fire in Jeremy's eyes, the hatred Kol sees burning there is strangely thrilling. But behind all that is pain, too much pain for someone so young. Kol reaches out to touch Jeremy's arm, to what? To comfort him? And the realisation that he cares about what this boy, this mortal, is feeling, hits him and it frightens him. It scares the absolute shit out of him actually. And so Kol runs, this was not at all how their reunion was supposed to go.


	3. Chapter 3

What to do? Where to go? Get the hell out of Dodge seems like the best idea but he can't bring himself to do it. Looking up he realises his feet have led him to Nick's house, and it looks like there's someone home. Kol walks straight in through the front door. In the sitting room of the mansion he finds Elijah and Rebekah. They stand when he walks into the room and Rebekah throws her arms around him and sobs. Shit, things must be bad, what could've happened to cause her to embrace him as a brother rather than regard him with suspicion? The number one rule is never trust an original, even if they're family. Love them, but don't trust them. Kol pulls back enough so he can see Rebekah's face. 

"What's the matter sister?"

"Kol, it's Nick. He's dead." Kol can see she really believes this and he looks to Elijah, does he believe it too? Their eyes meet and Kol can see that Elijah doesn't. Maybe it's a brother thing. Kol looks back at Rebekah, "how did it happen?"

"It was Alaric, Kol. He staked him with a white oak stake."

"How do you know?"

"I was there, I saw him do it." Rebekah shakes her head at the thought, Kol knows she's trying to get that image out of her head. Kol pulls her close again and looking over her shoulder at Elijah asks, "what do you think brother? Did you see him?"

"No," Elijah says, "I wasn't there. Rebekah told me about it."

"And do you believe he's really dead? Really gone forever?" Kol feels Rebekah tense in his arms. 

Elijah hesitates and glancing at Rebekah he says, "at first I did, but now? No, I don't really believe he's gone."

"Nor do I," Kol admits. Rebekah pulls away from him and takes a few steps back so she can glare at both her brothers at once.

"Stop it, both of you," she demands. "It's hard enough without false hope."

"Don't be dramatic Rebekah," Kol tells her, "there's no way he's really dead." 

She makes a girly noise of frustration and stalks off. With her dramatics gone maybe Kol can have a decent conversation with Elijah.

"What brings you back to Mystic Falls Kol?" Elijah asks in his oh-so-reasonable tone.

"Just a slight thorn in my side," Kol answers cryptically.


	4. Chapter 4

The following night Kol finds himself outside The Grill waiting for Jeremy again. It's ridiculous right? But here he is. Something Jeremy said is playing on his mind. _I fucking hate vampires_. It's understandable but Jeremy can't really mean it, can he? Elena is a vampire and Jeremy could never hate her. Kol's mind goes over and over these thoughts. God, it's so frustrating, why can't he get this crap out of his head? In a what-the-hell-am-I-doing moment Kol realises he's being stupid. He's standing out here waiting for a mortal, an annoying mortal, a mortal he'd rather was dead. Screw this, he's gonna go inside and sort this out right now. As Kol heads towards the door he passes Tyler and Caroline. Tyler has his arm around Caroline and a familiar smirk on his face. No way. Kol turns, continuing to watch them; it's _him_. Tyler turns back to look a Kol and when he winks Kol knows for sure it's Nick. A grin slides onto Kol's face, well done Nick, saved himself and got the girl.

Seeing his brother helps Kol remember who he is, _what_ he is and with renewed determination to make Jeremy suffer, Kol walks inside.

Kol's going to rip Jeremy apart and he's going to enjoy it. He's going to make sure Jeremy lives long enough to see his own guts spilling out and then he's going laugh when Jeremy's eyes go dull and his blood runs across the floor. It's exciting. Just wait till he gets his hands on Jeremy, when he sees him he'll... Smile and say hello?

"You again?" says Jeremy in reply and carries on with his work.

Kol finds himself following Jeremy to the bar and sitting down. Jeremy dismisses him and goes back to work. Kol watches Jeremy as he waits tables, it looks so boring. What Jeremy needs is some fun. They used to play baseball together for a bit of fun and Kol sees no reason why they couldn't do that again. Kol decides to ask Jeremy and as he walks towards Jeremy the strangest feeling overcomes him. Kol's stomach flutters and his memory is cast back a thousand years to when he was mortal. He knows this feeling, what is it? It comes to him just as reaches Jeremy. Nerves, he's nervous and that doesn't make any sense at all... Except, what if Jeremy says no?

"Fancy a game of ball tomorrow?" Kol asks Jeremy as Jeremy turns away from a table he's just cleared. Jeremy frowns slightly in suspicion or maybe just confusion, either way, it's endearing.

"You wanna move out of the way? I'm working."

"Not until you answer my question." Kol says.

Jeremy rolls his eyes and tries to move around Kol but Kol steps in front of him. Kol blocks Jeremy's path which causes Jeremy to drop one of the plates he's holding. Kol swoops down and grabs it before it hits the floor and places it back top of the pile Jeremy is holding. Jeremy looks at Kol gratefully and Kol finds it strangely satisfying.

"So, I'll meet you at the park tomorrow after school?" Kol half asks, half tells Jeremy.

"Alright, fine. I'll meet you there tomorrow if you'll get out of my way now."

"Lovely," grins Kol and he steps aside to let Jeremy pass.

\---

Bloody hell. What the fuck was that? This is far more serious than Kol realised. One look at the boy and all thoughts of hurting him dissolved in... What? Christ, how had he gone from lovely, murderous plans to arranging a bloody playdate in the park? He's seriously losing it. His siblings always said he was on the edge, maybe he's finally fallen over it, gone crazy. No, no. This must just be what they call temporary insanity. He's not crazy. Crazy people don't know their crazy, do they? Shit. He just needs to kill something, that'll make him feel better. Jeremy, he'll kill Jeremy. Tomorrow he'll have the perfect opportunity. When it's just the two of them and Kol has a baseball bat in his hand surely he'll feel inspired to crack Jeremy's skull.


	5. Chapter 5

Kol fixes his gaze on the girl's eyes. 

"Forget you ever saw me. You were bitten by a dog." He admires the gaping wound he's left in her flesh for a moment longer, then releases her and she wanders off. Kol's a little rusty at compulsion, he doesn't have to use it that often; dead people can't talk. That, and he's unbelievably handsome and charming.

It's a filthy habit to feed and not kill but unfortunately, for the time being it's necessary. If he wants to stick around Mystic Falls for a while, it won't do to go racking up a body count. This is a compromise he can live with because he won't, repeat won't, take blood from a plastic bag. It's a terribly vulgar thing to do and he won't lower himself to it. It'd be like eating cold, congealed soup that's been left out for days and smells kind of off, when everyone knows you're supposed to eat it when it's hot and fresh. Oh well, at least he can take some comfort in the fact that he inflicted some pain on his latest meal and that she'll have an ugly, big scar in the bend of her arm for the rest of her life.

\---

Should he tell Elijah and Rebekah about Nick? Elijah? Yes. But Rebekah? Maybe not. Not yet anyway. She's taken a liking to Tyler's friend Matt and he can't trust her. Kol hasn't forgotten the number one rule.

"Elijah?"

"Yes Kol?"

"It's Nick. He's alive, I've seen him."

"I know."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Elijah gives Kol an isn't-it-obvious look. Apparently Elijah hasn't forgotten the number one rule either.


	6. Chapter 6

Third times the charm. Kol's sure that his time he'll be able to take Jeremy out. As he approaches the net Kol remembers the first time he saw Jeremy. He'd asked Jeremy if he wanted someone to play ball with and Jeremy had answered with a beaming smile. That smile had made Kol... Whoa. Hold it right there. He did not just recall Jeremy's smile with fondness. Kol thinks he might be sick. He reaches out and steadies himself against a tree, he needs a moment to gather his thoughts. This is a bad idea, what if he can't go through with it? He should leave, now. Yes, retreat, regroup and... Then he feels a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Jeremy asks him, voice full of concern. Shit, too late. Kol knows when he looks up all his powers of resistance will be gone, but he looks up anyway.

"I'm fine," Kol lies.

"Well come on then," Jeremy encourages, "what are we waiting for?"

What indeed?

\---

It's amazing how easily they fall back into the old rhythm of friendship, it's almost like all the upheaval in between never happened.

"You wanna bat for a while?" Jeremy calls down the pitch to Kol.

"No, that's ok, I'd rather pitch," Kol replies and then adds after a moments thought, "unless you want to pitch?"

"No, I'm happy to keep batting, just thought I'd ask."

\---

"You wanna meet here again tomorrow?" Jeremy asks hopefully.

"Ok," Kol agrees, he just can't say no. Jeremy's attention is drawn away from Kol for a moment, Kol assumes he's seen someone he knows. Kol looks in same direction as Jeremy but there's no one there. Strange. Jeremy zones back in, his attention once again on Kol.

"Great," Jeremy says and Kol's sure he detects a little hostility in Jeremy's tone, but he can't think of anything he's done to upset Jeremy. But then again, Kol never was very good with people unless you count being able to dismember them in record time, because that's something he's very good at.


	7. Chapter 7

The only thing Kol can think about is Jeremy, he can't get the brat out of his head. They've been back to that park every day this week and Kol still hasn't been able to dispose of Jeremy. It's ridiculous. Everyday instead of acting like the vampire he is and using a baseball bat as a weapon to kill the boy, Kol smiles and laughs and uses the baseball bat to well, play baseball. It's embarrassing. 

Take yesterday for instance. There Kol is with a perfectly solid baseball in his hand and all he has to do is put a little extra effort into his pitch and it'll knock Jeremy's head clean off. But instead of following through with that brilliant idea Kol sends a wicked curve ball Jeremy's way and Jeremy manages to smash it out of the park. And even Kol has to admit it was an impressive hit.

"Kol, what's that sappy smile all about?" Rebekah asks with amusement.

Sappy smile? What's she talking about? Schooling his features into a scowl, Kol replies, "I don't know what you're talking about." Rebekah's grin widens and she looks to Elijah who's clearly amused as well.

"That's not the worst of it Rebekah," Elijah says to her, pretending Kol isn't standing right in front of them, "I heard him _singing_ to himself." Now that, Kol knows is a blatant lie, he would never do such a thing. Whistle maybe, but sing? Never.

"I was not," Kol says defensively, but they are both looking at him like they don't believe a word of it. Clearly they are both enjoying this and it's pissing Kol off.

"You know Elijah," Rebekah says, making a show of it an infuriating way.

"What's that Rebekah?" Elijah replies, playing along with her.

"I think our darling brother Kol is in love." They both turn and grin at Kol in that shit-stirring way siblings do. But Kol doesn't react to those challenging grins. Two words are bouncing around in his head, getting louder and louder and he may just have a full-blown panic attack. His blood turns to ice and his head is spinning. In love. In love? _In love?_ It's not possible. Is it? Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Kol can hear someone saying his name and slowly he realises it's Rebekah. He manages to focus on her and she looks worried.

"Kol, are you ok? We're sorry, we were just mucking around." Oh God, what if they're right? Weakly he manages to ask, "do you really think so?"

"Umm," Rebekah seems hesitant to answer and looks to Elijah for help. Elijah shrugs, and with a scowl for him Rebekah turns back to Kol.

"Relax Kol, it's not a like it's werewolf bite, it's just love." That doesn't help.

"It's worse than a wolf bite. At least Nick's blood would cure a bite. But this..."

"Really Kol, now who's being dramatic?" Rebekah says, a hint of amusement back in her voice. "It can't be that bad, who is she?"

She? If only it were that simple. Why couldn't he have fallen for a nice, murderous vampire girl? Someone like Rebekah or Katherine? But nooooo, he had to fall for a stupid, annoying mortal boy. Life really sucks sometimes.


	8. Chapter 8

Denial. That's sounds like a brilliant plan. Kol's going to push this little bombshell down so far he'll never have to acknowledge it again. And if it does rear its ugly head? He'll cut it off. Meaning he'll cut Jeremy's head off. Oh shit, whose he kidding, he won't do that.

Kol's phone rings, it's Jeremy. Of course it's Jeremy, no one else ever calls him.

"Yes?" Kol says a little harsher than he meant to. No wait, that's a good thing, he wants Jeremy to leave him alone. But then why does he feel bad about it?

"You wanna come over for dinner?" Jeremy asks him. Dinner, wtf? Is this like a date?

"Is this like a date?" Kol blurts out accusingly.

"No," Jeremy laughs. Kol sighs in relief, Jeremy thought he was making a joke. This whole disgusting love thing is Kol's issue he reminds himself, not Jeremy's. Jeremy would never feel this way about Kol. Would he? Does Kol want him to? Arghh, he has no idea. Maybe he should go over to Jeremy's and try to clear some of these questions up.

"In that case, yes. See you soon."

\---

Jeremy's way too cheerful when Kol shows up at his house, it's a little disconcerting. Jeremy invites Kol in without a second thought, which just goes to show how stupid he really is.

A couple of times during their conversation Jeremy does that weird thing where he zones out and you'd swear someone else had just walked into the room. It makes Kol wonder whether Jeremy's all there. But really who is he to pass judgement on anyone else's sanity?

\---

"Wanna watch some TV? Dexter's on, I promise you'll like it," Jeremy asks after dinner, sliding over on the couch to make room for Kol. Kol doubts that but he sits down to watch anyway.

Dark passenger. It hits a nerve with Kol, is that what's wrong with him? Dexter's dark passenger is something that's separate from himself, something he can't control and yet it's a part of him he can't escape. Dexter is human and his dark passenger makes him a monster. But Kol's a monster, would a dark passenger make him human? Or is it a light passenger he carries? Is that what his feelings for Jeremy are? A light passenger who makes him all soft and gooey inside, so that he doesn't need to kill? If so, God help him. Someone stake him right now.

\---

It's not until he's left Jeremy's house that Kol realises he didn't actually get answers to any of his questions. Damnit. Being with Jeremy is just so easy that Kol doesn't have to think about what to say or what to do, he just has to be. In fact, Kol seems to get so caught up in the moment that it's really starting to scare him. Kol has no idea what to do about it. That settles it. The denial plan was a good one, he'll stick with that.


	9. Chapter 9

Rebekah's at him again. How the hell is he supposed to live in denial when she keeps bringing this up every five seconds?

"So who is it Kol? Come on, you can tell me," she says with a malicious smile.

"Drop it," Kol shoots back in what he hopes is a tone that will make her back-the-fuck off. She's been harassing him for days about it. Kol needs to distract her with something, anything. Screw it, why not throw his brother to the wolf?

"What about Elijah? You don't pick on him about his love life."

Elijah looks up from his book. It's beyond Kol how he can concentrate on reading with Rebekah in the room.

"There's no need to question my love life, it's perfectly healthy. It even has it's own personal doctor." And that's Elijah's input into the conversation before turning back to his book with a sly smile. Thanks for the help big brother.

"There see?" Rebekah says, like it's completely rational, "he's fine. It's you we need to worry about."

A look crosses Rebekah's face then, and Kol knows it means she's had a thought. Shit, what could it be? Before Kol has time to freak out properly, she voices her thought.

"Actually I don't think I've ever seen you with a girlfriend." Thank God, that's easy to explain, he was sure she'd been onto him.

"That's because I haven't had one. I fuck girls and then I kill them. That usually puts a dampener on things," Kol tells her, "for them anyway," he adds with a devious grin.

"Oh," is all Rebekah manages in reply. Good. That ought to shut her up for a while.


	10. Chapter 10

Kol's drawn here. It doesn't matter what his intentions are, he always ends up wherever Jeremy is. Like a moth to a flame, and it's not lost on Kol that it never ends well for the moth.

"Is that dark passenger show on tonight?" Kol asks.

"Dexter? Yeah. You liked it?" Jeremy says with a smile, and Kol knows Jeremy's happy because he was right.

"He has some interesting ideas."

Rolling his eyes, Jeremy says with amusement, "you're not supposed to watch it like a how-to guide."

Kol doesn't see why not, this Dexter bloke has style. Of course Kol doesn't need any tuition in the art of killing but fresh ideas are always welcome.

They sit down on the couch together to watch and it just feels so right, so comfortable. Right now Kol can't think of anywhere else he'd rather be. Kol wonders, does Jeremy feel the same?

"That's it. I've had enough. I never want to see you again!" Ok, maybe he doesn't. This outburst from Jeremy is entirely unexpected, Kol has no idea what he's done to provoke it. With a vampire's reflexes Kol's up off the couch and heading for the door.

"Kol, wait," Jeremy calls after him, "I wasn't talking to you." Should Kol be relieved or scared? "Come back here." So Kol comes back.

"Forgive me for pointing out the obvious," Kol says to Jeremy, "but we're the only ones here."

"That's not exactly true," Jeremy says. "There's something different about me, something I haven't told you." Does Kol really want to hear this? "I see ghosts, they talk to me." So that explains all the weird zoning out stuff, apparently Jeremy's not completely crazy after all.

"Right. So who's here now?" Kol asks.

"Ric. It's always Ric," Jeremy sighs. Ric? As in Alaric? As in the piece of shit who staked Kol's brother? What does he want with Jeremy?

"The same Ric that tri-, I mean, killed my brother? What does he want with you?" Kol doesn't like this at all. It's too reminiscent of his bitch-of-a-mother, sticking her dead nose in where it wasn't wanted.

"He says he's here to look out for me but all he ever talks about is how evil vampires are." Well Kol supposes the ghost isn't entirely mistaken. But Alaric must've said something more than that this time for Jeremy to yell at him the way he did.

"And what did he say to you just now to make you say you never wanted to see him again?" Jeremy glances away, Kol can see he's not entirely comfortable answering this question.

"He, well... He hates you. He thinks I should stay as far away from you as possible."

"I see. And what do you think?" Kol asks, hoping his voice doesn't betray how eager he is to hear Jeremy's answer. Jeremy ponders for a moment, obviously deciding how best to answer.

"I believed him about vampires at first. He said I needed to get rid of all the vampires in town. You remember the first night I saw you when you came back to town? You were just one more vampire added to a problem that was already too big for me to handle. I lashed out at you and I'm sorry."

"What changed?"

"Elena's a vampire and I could never hurt her," Jeremy says. Of course, Kol tells himself, it's Elena that matters to Jeremy. "And then you showed up," Jeremy continues, the hint of a smile playing at his lips now. "I was so angry at you at first but you wouldn't give up. And then when we started hanging out again it was almost like back in Denver." Jeremy pauses, like he's lost in his memory for a moment. Jeremy looks into Kol's eyes when he continues, "but it's not quite the same, you're different somehow and whatever's changed in you makes me know I could never do what Ric asked me to do." When Jeremy finishes Kol's world has narrowed so there's left nothing but the two of them. It's a magical moment. And then Jeremy's phone rings. It jolts them both back into the real world, so Jeremy answers it.

"That was Elena," Jeremy tells Kol when he hangs up. "She was just checking if I'm ok. She doesn't come home much anymore." Kol's noticed. Jeremy does spend a lot of time here alone. And Kol has no idea whether that's a good thing or a bad thing.

\---

Now that he's away from Jeremy and Kol's senses have returned to him, a startling truth hits. Kol realises how awful he felt when he thought Jeremy was ordering him away. And that's not the worst of it. The truly frightening, and demeaning, part is that Kol hadn't thought twice about doing exactly what Jeremy said. What wouldn't he do if this boy asked him to? Kol's life is being consumed by his feelings for Jeremy. The situation is beyond a joke now and desperate times call for desperate measures. It's been a very long time since Kol had a problem he couldn't deal with alone. He's going to have to ask Rebekah for help. There's the risk that she'll put two and two together and figure out that the reason he wants Jeremy eliminated is because he's the one Kol's in love with, but it's a risk he's willing to take. This is a problem that needs solving right now. Anyway, Rebekah's not the brightest flame in the fire, maybe she won't make the connection.


	11. Chapter 11

Just play it cool and she'll never suspect a thing. Rebekah's sitting on the couch, Kol walks up behind her and leans over the back of the couch next to her.

"Hey Bek, fancy going out for dinner?"

Rebekah turns her head to look at Kol and asks, "you mean like Chinese food?"

"I was thinking more like wait staff at The Grill," Kol says with a smirk.

"Sure," Rebekah says, springing up from her seat and turning to face Kol. "I'm in. As long as we leave Matt out of it."

"Deal," Kol agrees. Perfect. This whole nightmare will be over soon.

\---

They're hanging around outside The Grill waiting for Jeremy to finish his shift, though Rebekah doesn't know that. Jeremy and a girl Kol doesn't know exit the building. They part ways at the door, leaving Jeremy alone.

"You take the girl and I'll take the guy," Rebekah says, she's making this almost too easy. She moves towards Jeremy and Kol hangs back to watch, he wants to make sure she finishes this.

Rebekah walks up behind Jeremy and taps him on the shoulder; it's more fun that way. The moment when a person realises they're in danger; when their smile vanishes and the terror comes into their eyes is exhilarating. Kol's seen it thousands of times and will never get tired of it. Jeremy turns and recognises Rebekah, and she him, but she's committed to this now so she doesn't back down. Rebekah is quick to make her intentions clear and that exact look, that realisation of danger, forms on Jeremy's face. And for the first time in Kol's life seeing that look on the face of a mortal doesn't fill him with joy. It fills him with a suffocating fear of his own. The only thought in Kol's mind is to stop Rebekah. As Kol thinks it, he moves so fast that almost instantly he's standing in front of her. Her eyes have bled out and she grabs Jeremy, bearing her fangs. Kol can't let this happen.

"Let him go," Kol demands, "I want to finish what I started in Denver." Will she buy it?

"He's mine now brother," Rebekah says, tightening her grip on Jeremy, and that fires Kol up. What right does she have to make a claim on Jeremy? Kol glances at Jeremy whose eyes are wide with fear. Kol's got to get Rebekah away from Jeremy right now. Rebekah opens her mouth to bite Jeremy, this could all be over in an instant, Kol's got to move now. He lunges forward, it surprises Rebekah and she loosens her grip on Jeremy enough for Kol to shove him out of the way and push Rebekah back. Now Kol is standing between Rebekah and Jeremy; he's facing Rebekah and Jeremy is safe somewhere behind him. Kol glares at Rebekah and slowly her eyes return to normal and her fangs retract. There's something in her expression he doesn't like, a look that says she thinks she's winning, and she's being surprisingly calm about this.

"Nice one Kol," Rebekah says with amusement, "now you've gone and spilled his blood all over the pavement, what a waste." No. Kol's worry must show on his face because her smile widens. Forgetting her for the moment Kol turns to see Jeremy lying on the ground. Jeremy's eyes are closed but Kol can hear his heart beating a steady rhythm. Thank God. Kol crouches over Jeremy to check the gash on his head, it's not that bad, the blood flow is already slowing. With a sigh of relief Kol reaches down and touches Jeremy's face, just to reassure himself that Jeremy's here and he's still alive.

Slowly Kol becomes aware that Rebekah's still here, he hears her move around to Jeremy's other side and Kol tenses, ready to defend Jeremy if he has too. Rebekah crouches down opposite Kol and with Jeremy lying unconscious between them, Kol looks up at his sister and sees the realisation in her eyes. That malicious smile appears on her face, fuck, she knows.

"Not a word and I'll make it worth your while," Kol tells her. Now Kol's got to make a choice. Does he follow Rebekah and make sure she doesn't tell or does he stay with Jeremy to make sure he's ok? Rebekah runs and fuck it, Kol just can't follow her when Jeremy needs his help. Kol's going to have to trust that she'll be interested enough in hearing his offer to keep her mouth shut.

\---

Kol takes Jeremy home and waits by his bedside for him to wake. Kol's feeling guilty, it's something he hasn't felt in centuries. Guilt implies you've done something you think is wrong and that's impossible when you have no morals left. Kol hates feeling this way and it's Jeremy's fault. Jeremy's eyes flutter open and the first thing he says when he sees Kol is, "you saved me." Kol doesn't say anything to that because if it weren't for him Jeremy never would've needed saving in the first place. That, and he almost killed Jeremy to do it. Something pulls at Kol and it takes him a moment to figure it out. The trouble is Jeremy's eyes, if only Jeremy wouldn't look at him like that. Jeremy's eyes are so full of need and pain and Kol has the insane desire to fill those needs and take away that pain. It's so bloody frustrating. Kol doesn't want to feel like this but he can't help it. When Kol looks into those deep, brown eyes, he feels like he's drowning. Kol closes his eyes to gather his thoughts, he can solve this problem. If he plucks Jeremy's eyes out he'll never have to look at them again. Opening his eyes, Kol reaches toward Jeremy but instead of hurting Jeremy, Kol's hand comes to rest on Jeremy's face. You're a vampire, you're a vampire, you're a vampire, a voice in his head screams. That's right, and what do vampires do? They drink blood. If he drains Jeremy dry, he'll never have to deal with him again. Kol leans in, lips seeking Jeremy's neck, this is it, it will all be over soon. But instead of finding Jeremy's neck Kol's lips come to rest on Jeremy's mouth and when they kiss it's like Kol has come home for the first time in a thousand years.

No. No. No, no, no. This isn't how Kol's life's supposed to be; the vampire pet of an insignificant mortal. He refuses to be ruled by his emotions. Kol's a proud top-of-the-chain predator, one who values power, strength and independence, not love. What to do? Duh, is he a vampire or isn't he? All he's got to do is use compulsion and Jeremy will never remember this. Kol will be free to carry on his life how he chooses. Kol stares into Jeremy's big, brown eyes and tells him to forget. It's the perfect crime, now Jeremy will never know.

\---

When Kol finally catches up with Rebekah she promises she won't tell. Kol's offer kills two birds with one stone. It will stop Rebekah blabbing about Kol's secret and it will keep Jeremy safe in case Rebekah gets any ideas about finishing what she started. Kol reveals Jeremy's secret to her and tells her that he'll ask Jeremy to try to make contact with Nick and Finn if she keeps quiet. It's a shaky truce but at least Kol has been spared the embarrassment of his brothers finding out. For now at least, he won't lose all their respect.


	12. Chapter 12

Just because Jeremy's forgotten their kiss doesn't mean Kol has. The memory of it is still tingling on Kol's lips. Kol's not used to not getting what he wants and he's definitely not used to not wanting to want what he wants. Does that even make sense? Shit, at this rate his head might explode. A distraction. That's what's required in a horrific situation such as this. Kol supposes it's too much to hope that one will walk right in through the front door. Kol is pulled from that thought when the front door opens and Tyler walks in. No, not Tyler, Nick. Nick walks in like he owns the place, wait he does own the place, anyway that's not the point. The point is that it takes him all of five seconds to start handing out orders and Kol is so relieved. Trust Nick to brighten his day with the promise of a devious plot. Elijah and Rebekah walk into the room. Elijah is not surprised but Rebekah demands to know what Tyler is doing in their house.

"It's Niklaus," Elijah tells her. Nick smiles and extends his arms toward her, inviting her to embrace him. Realisation dawns on Rebekah's face and she strides towards him. Just as she reaches him Nick's smile vanishes and he backhands her across the face, knocking her to the ground.

"That's for killing my doppelganger."

Rebekah looks up at Nick, anger in her eyes and says, "I did it to avenge you."

Nick sighs and his anger drains away as he extends a hand to help her up.

"I know. That's why all you got was a smack in the face." Rebekah takes Nick's hand and he pulls her up and into a hug. When she steps back Nick looks at all of them in turn and it's obvious he's in charge again. The three of them look at him expectantly, awaiting orders; it's a relief to all of them not to have to make the decisions.

"I want my body back," Nick states, "it's far better looking than this one."

They all nod vigorously.

"Ain't that the truth."

"Here here."

"I know, right?" The three of them say, all speaking over the top of each other.

"Well, now we've agreed on that," Nick says with a smirk, "what are we going to do about it?"

\---

The plan is actually quite simple as far as plans go. Retrieve Nick's body and get the witch to reanimate it. Then Nick will do his spirit jumping thing and voila, original Niklaus is back. Nick was pretty peeved when he found out that none of them had brought his body home but Rebekah had told them it burst into flame. Really, what did he expect them to do? How were they supposed to know he'd used magic to preserve it?

The hitch in this plan will come somewhere around the part where they have to get Bonnie to cooperate. The obvious way to get her to help is to threaten her friends but this time it's a little more complicated than that. The catch is that for Bonnie to reanimate Nick's body an enormous amount of power, of energy is needed. A witch would normally be able to pull this energy from the earth, from nature, but what they hope to achieve is wholly unnatural and it won't work. The energy will have to come from within Bonnie herself and that makes this spell very dangerous. For the witch at least. There's every chance this will kill Bonnie and she's a seasoned enough witch to know that. Kol has no moral qualms about doing this, he and his siblings learned the hard way that witches cannot be trusted and using them as tools suits him just fine.

As far as they know Nick's body is still in the storage facility which is over a hundred miles away and for Kol that means a road trip. He's learned to drive since he woke up, cars are so much fun. It'd be even better if Kol had someone to ride shotgun, maybe Jeremy would be up for it?

\---

Nick and Elijah have gone off to discuss secret big brother business, leaving Kol and Rebekah alone.

"Nick's not dead..." Rebekah points out with delight and Kol knows a threat when he hears one.

"So it would seem," Kol says.

Rebekah grins at Kol, she thinks she's won, but Kol's got one card left to play.

"Don't forget Finn," Kol reminds her, he knows it's an easy thing to do.

"You got me there," Rebekah says with defeat, but the smile on her face is unnerving. Kol knows she won't tell, for now at least, but he's got a feeling it's got less to do with their non-event brother and more to do with pulling the wings off a fly before you kill it.


	13. Chapter 13

Jeremy's worried about how their plan is going to affect everyone. Everyone in town it feels like, as Kol listens to Jeremy list them off, while they drive to pick up Nick's body. Kol can count on one hand the number of people he actually gives a fuck about. Elijah, Nick, Rebekah, Jeremy. That's it. Jeremy? That little worm. How the hell did he manage to squirm onto the list? Ah, who's Kol kidding? Certainly not his overwhelmingly persistent light passenger. Kol really does care about Jeremy. Oh. With that admission it's like a haze clears and Kol can see Jeremy clearly for the first time. Thank God he's driving or who knows what he would do. Looking over at Jeremy, Kol can't help but notice Jeremy is hot. The lines and angles of his face are perfectly proportioned, his nose, his jaw, his chin. And those big brown eyes and a smile to die for. How has Kol never noticed this before?

"What?" Jeremy asks, a hint of a smile playing at his delicious mouth. Delicious? Did he really just think that? Great. Now it's going to be that much harder for Kol fight this unnatural attraction.

\---

"Do you ever feel like your life's something out of a bad movie?" Jeremy asks Kol after they've been silent for a while.

Movie? 

"I don't know, I've never seen one."

Jeremy looks at him incredulously. 

"You've never seen a movie, how is that even possible?"

"I've been asleep for the last hundred years, remember?"

"Oh right, of course," Jeremy says, sinking back into his seat. It doesn't take Jeremy long to bounce back, that's one of the things Kol lov- ahem, likes about him. "Then we'll have to go see one when we get back."

"I'd like that," Kol says, fighting hard not to let that 'sappy smile' he can feel pulling at the corners of his mouth form.

\---

They load the coffin into the truck and it occurs to Kol that Nick killed Jeremy's Aunt Jenna. Suddenly the notion that Jeremy is here helping to retrieve Nick's body is very strange. Unfortunately Kol has developed an annoying habit of wanting to understand Jeremy, to know what Jeremy's feeling, so he points this fact out. And because he's so tactful Kol follows it up with the question, why? Jeremy frowns, and when he answers Kol he uses a tone that says he thinks this is the most obvious thing in the world; "because you asked me to."

\---

On the drive back Kol is thinking about all the fucked up shit that Jeremy has had to witness since the Salvatore scum came back to Mystic Falls. Even what Kol has dragged Jeremy along to do today Jeremy shouldn't have had to witness. How many 16 year olds spend their weekend fetching the dead body of their friend's brother? The dead body of their _vampire_ friend's _hybrid_ brother? None, that's how many. What Jeremy needs is some normal.

"I think you should try out for the school baseball team."

"What? No. I'm nowhere near good enough."

"I disagree."

"Na, I couldn't."

"Yes you can. What if I promise to come to every game?"

"Really? You'd do that?"

"Of course. So you'll do it?"

Jeremy considers for a moment and then says with a shrug, "sure, I'll give it a go."

"Great. I promise when you make the team I'll be there to watch every home run." That earns him a smile from Jeremy.

Kol's got a good feeling about this because there's a small fact that Jeremy is unaware of, one that Kol knows will give Jeremy the edge to become the star of the team.


	14. Chapter 14

Rebekah's back from fetching Jamie and Elijah has gone to persuade Bonnie to join them. It shouldn't be too hard, they took a nice photo of Jamie all tied up and bloody to show Bonnie. Caroline let slip to Nick that Bonnie was in love with Jamie, which made him the obvious choice to use. Bizarrely Kol can almost understand how using him might be as effective as threatening one of Bonnie's family members, and that's a thought he finds unsettling. Anyway, it makes Jamie pretty important in this whole plan. If Kol was Nick he wouldn't have sent Kol to retrieve the hostage either. Kol does have a tendency to become over excited when violence is involved and well, accidents do happen. Dead hostages aren't very useful to anyone, as hostages at least.

Right now Kol is in charge of guarding Jamie and he's been told not to touch him. Nick has promised that Kol will be the one who gets to hold Jamie while Bonnie does the spell, which is a win/win situation for Kol. He either gets his brother back or gets to kill Jamie. Hell, maybe he'll kill him anyway. He can't wait to have a use for the new knife he bought yesterday. It's so shiny and sharp and it's going to slice through skin and flesh brilliantly.

"That's the creepiest smile I've ever seen," comes Jamie's voice, "if you're trying to scare the shit out of me, it's working." Actually Kol hadn't been trying at all, he was just happy about the prospect of spilling some blood. Kol doesn't say anything, he just widens his grin and it has the desired effect, Jamie shrinks back and shuts the fuck up. Kol can barely contain his excitement; he almost wants Bonnie to refuse. It's been a while since he's killed and he is so looking forward to this.

\---

You can literally see the magic happening, the power pouring from one vessel into another. As Nick's shrivelled corpse begins to fill out, the opposite happens to Bonnie. She begins to fade and dry out and eventually she drops to the floor, dead as a maggot. Kol is still holding onto Jamie tightly, still holding the knife to his throat. It's worked; Nick's body is perfect as it ever was. Kol sinks the big blade into Jamie's neck and draws it forward, slicing through all those things that allow a body to move, swallow, breathe and transport oxygen. Jamie's blood gushes out, the hot liquid coats Kol's hands and the smell is delicious. Or at least it would be if it weren't for the undertones of digestive juices wafting up from Jamie's severed oesophagus. Some arterial spray hits Nick's coffin, it's like a toast to their triumph. Eventually Jamie stops struggling and Kol drops his twitching body to the floor. Kol takes a moment to admire the blood stained blade and then wipes it clean on his pants. Sometimes it's nice to use a knife, they are so much more precise than teeth or hands.

"Kol," Elijah reprimands, but there's no real anger in his voice. "Was that really necessary? Look at the mess you've made."

"Better to tie loose ends up," Kol replies nonchalantly. "You wouldn't want him getting any silly ideas about revenge would you?"

"I suppose not," Elijah agrees, but his attention is already back on Nick. Nick's body stirs and he blinks. Tyler drops to the floor unconscious, or dead, either way it doesn't really matter to Kol. Nick climbs out of his coffin and they all breathe a sigh of relief, now things are exactly as they should be. Nick opens his arms and says "well come on then you lot, what are you waiting for? Group hug." He doesn't have to tell Elijah twice and Rebekah's pretty quick off the mark too. Kol's a little more reluctant, he doesn't really like this touchy-feely crap. But he moves forward anyway, so he's facing Nick and wraps one arm around Elijah and the other around Rebekah. He'll indulge them today, because nothing is more important than family.


	15. Chapter 15

Kol drew the short straw. He can think of somewhere he'd rather be but someone has to dump the bodies. Stealing an idea from his favourite TV show, Kol heads for the cemetery. It's a sound theory; better to hide a needle in a stack of needles than hay. He just hopes someone else has recently died in Mystic Falls or he's going to have to dig three times as far. Kol parks Elijah's convertible as close to the cemetery gate as he can. He scouts the cemetery for a fresh grave and he's in luck, hooray for the high mortality rate in Mystic Falls. He digs the grave deeper, till it's deep enough to fit two bodies, well one-and-a-half at least. When that's done Kol retrieves the bodies from the trunk of Elijah's car, if you can even call it a trunk. What a ridiculous car, Kol thinks, as he reefs the twisted body of Jamie out. He really had to squish him up to make him fit in there. Like his father always said, it's better to do a job properly in the first place. Kol knows he should've chopped them up first but he was in a rush and now it's taken longer anyway. Bonnie's not so bad. She's all shrivelled up which makes her smaller, but she's kind of dried out too and not as bendable. Oops. One of her arms snaps off as Kol pulls her out. Maybe Elijah's right and Kol is just messy, but it's not like he means to be, most of the time anyway.

\---

Crap, Kol's in for it now. Unbelievable. What is it with Jeremy and this cemetery? Why is he wandering around here at three in the morning? Kol knew it was only a matter of time before he copped this off Jeremy but this is sooner than he'd hoped. And there's no denying what he's up to, what Kol and his siblings have done. The evidence is lying dead in a hole six feet beneath his feet. He tries to wipe the blood from his hands off on his pants but it's sticky and it's too late anyway; you could say Jeremy's caught him red-handed. Kol remembers a second too late that most mortals aren't accustomed to seeing death like this, and Jeremy looks into the grave. Jeremy's eyes widen and Kol grabs Jeremy by the arm and pulls him back. Thank God it's too dark for Jeremy to have seen the gory details. But Jeremy's seen enough to know that exactly what he feared would be the outcome of their plan has happened. Kol sees it as nothing more that collateral damage but Jeremy won't see it that way.

"How could you? Bonnie didn't deserve to die," Jeremy says and the accusation in his eyes cuts through Kol like a knife.

"We did it for Nick," Kol simply says. If Jeremy can't understand that then Kol isn't sure he can explain.

"There must've been another way," Jeremy says, a little desperately.

Kol can see Jeremy's struggling to rationalise this, it's a dilemma anyone who becomes close to a vampire faces. There comes a point when one has to accept that vampires are killers. Then it's up to each individual to decide what it means for them. Some can handle it and some can't. So Jeremy needs to decide whether the killer part or the Kol part of the vampire standing in front of him is more important. If Jeremy doesn't run now then maybe, just maybe, they have a chance at a real and lasting friendship. And as much as it irks Kol to admit it, that's something he wants.

"Bonnie was a stranger to me and Nick's my brother. Choosing between them wasn't really a choice at all."

Jeremy still looks uncertain and Kol says the only thing he can think of that will sway this decision in his favour, "what wouldn't you do for Elena?"

That does it. Jeremy fixes his gaze on Kol. He gives Kol a look that says he can't argue with that, shrugs and asks, "need some help?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention this is a crackfic?


	16. Chapter 16

Kol walks in to find Nick and Caroline snuggling on the lounge flipping through one of Nick's sketch books. When Kol enters the room they look up at him like what they're doing is completely normal.

"London or Paris?" Nick asks him. Kol's mind goes blank, why isn't Caroline running away screaming yet?

"Well?" Nick persists. Kol shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

"I'm confused," Kol says and it's true.

"Which do you prefer?" Huh?

"And people say I'm slow," Caroline says to no one in particular. Then she turns to Nick and says, "but I had you figured out in about five seconds, didn't I?"

"Yes dearest," Nick agrees, placing a soft kiss on her nose in a sickening display of affection.

"Wait," Kol says, trying to get his head around this. "You knew he was Nick all along?"

"Of course I knew he was Klaus," Caroline tells him. "I'm pretty sure I can tell the difference between a cub and a king." Like that comment won't go to Nick's head. In the time it takes her to say this, she's turned back to Nick. Nick pulls her close and kisses her hungrily and that's Kol's queue to exit.

\---

Kol's phone beeps; it's an urgent message from Jeremy saying Kol has to get over to Jeremy's place right now! What could be so important? Is Jeremy in trouble? Kol's on his way before he even has time to finish that thought.

"I've found the perfect movie for us to go see," Jeremy declares, the second Kol steps through the door. "They're replaying Curse of the Black Pearl tonight." A movie? Kol had to haul arse all the way over here for this? Kol's worry subsides and leaves him feeling just kind of flat.

"Couldn't you have told me this over the phone?" Kol asks, deflating Jeremy's good mood a little.

"Aren't you excited?" Jeremy asks with uncertainty.

"Sure, I guess," Kol shrugs, "I just don't see why I had to race over here at six in the morning for this."

"What do you care what time it is? You're a vampire. Aren't you up at all kinds of weird hours anyway?" Jeremy's missed the point, it doesn't seem to have occurred to him that he scared Kol.

"I guess," Kol shrugs again. "Plus I don't really see how it can be that different from TV."

That brings Jeremy's smile back, "there's nothing like the magic of the cinema," Jeremy says. Whatever. "Meet you here after school?"

Kol agrees and then Jeremy shoots off up the stairs to get ready for school. Looks like Kol's going to see his first movie tonight.

\---

Jeremy was right. There is nothing like the magic of the cinema. The atmosphere, the music, the actors, the effects...

"So?" Jeremy asks excitedly as they leave the cinema, "I was right wasn't I? You liked it?"

"Very much," Kol tells Jeremy. "If I ever meet Johnny Depp I'm going to buy him a rum. He was brilliant."

"I knew you would," Jeremy beams.

"Though," Kol says thoughtfully, "it wasn't quite like that."

It takes a moment for that comment to click with Jeremy, who stops abruptly in the middle of the departing crowd when it does. He turns to face Kol and Kol has to pull him out of the way of a group of people who aren't watching where they're going. Jeremy ends up pressed very close to Kol but doesn't seem to notice, he's too busy flipping out over what Kol just said.

"Oh my God! I can't believe it! You were a pirate! In the Caribbean! That's like the coolest thing ever!" Now people are starting to look, "you have to tell me _everything_!"

"Fine, I will," Kol says, pulling Jeremy aside and trying to get him to keep his voice down. This isn't the kind of thing that would normally bother Kol, but for some reason he needs Jeremy to be quiet.

Shit. Some reason is right, Kol looks up to see Rebekah's face amongst the crowd, a look of devilish delight plastered across it. She heads straight for them, what the fuck is she going to say?

"Hi Kol. Hi Jeremy," Rebekah says way too cheerfully. At the same moment Jeremy takes a step back, Kol moves forward to place himself between Rebekah and Jeremy. This is the first time Jeremy's seen Rebekah since she attacked him. Understandably he's a little nervous but she disregards this because there's only one thing on her mind.

"Have any luck yet?" Rebekah asks, directing her question at Jeremy. Shit, Kol hasn't actually spoken to Jeremy about the offer he made Rebekah yet. In fact, he wasn't really planning to. It's obvious Jeremy has no clue what she's talking about, something that Rebekah doesn't fail to notice. She directs her next question at Kol.

"You haven't even tried yet, have you?" Rebekah says gleefully. Fuck it, Kol's given her the excuse she needs. Before Kol can say anything Rebekah turns and walks off. Kol turns to Jeremy who's confused, but Kol doesn't have time to explain now.

"I've got to sort this out," Kol tells Jeremy. Kol knows it's wrong to leave Jeremy stranded just to save face with his brothers but well, Jeremy's not the one who has to live with them. Hopefully Kol can catch up with her before she says something stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Nate Buzz; who does an awesome job playing Kol, who loves Pirates and who really did buy Johnny Depp a rum when he met him.


	17. Chapter 17

"Rebekah, no," Kol pleads as he grabs at her to stop her dashing inside the house but she slips out of his grasp and darts inside. Bitch. Kol makes it inside in time to hear her yell, "Elijah! Nick! You've _got_ to hear this." Make that fucking bitch.

"Shut up," Kol demands but the glee on her face tells him she won't, this is far too entertaining for her. Nick and Elijah appear at the top of the stairs and Nick calls down in a bored tone, "what is it Rebekah?"

Kol reaches her in time to grab her and clap his hand over her mouth. He'll never live this down if she blabs. Rebekah struggles to free herself, but soon realises Kol's got the advantage and so she licks his hand. Yuck, dirty bitch. Kol yanks his hand away to wipe her slobber off and she takes the opportunity to yell, "Kol'sinlovewithJeremyGilbert." Cow! Kol's going to punch her in her stupid face. Something must show on his own face because quick as a flash Nick is down the stairs and standing between them. Kol glares over Nick's shoulder at her smug face, "I'll kill you."

"That's enough Kol," Nick tells him seriously but then Nick can't help the smile that creeps onto his face. "Jeremy Gilbert? Really?" Rebekah's smile widens and Kol can hear Elijah chuckling.

"Fuck you all," Kol says venomously, turns and storms off. Before he reaches the door Rebekah calls to him, "sooking off to _Jeremy_ are you?" That makes Nick laugh. Without stopping or turning Kol replies, "actually I thought I'd pay Matt or Caroline a visit with the new meat cleaver I picked up today." In an instant both Nick and Rebekah are in front of him blocking his path, the smiles wiped off their idiot faces. "I'm thinking of starting another body part collection, maybe heads this time," Kol continues with a grin. Take that shitheads, now whose smiling? "Maybe I'll get them mounted on the wall, I could make a collection of blondes," Kol rants because he knows Rebekah won't like it.

"Nick, make him stop," she whines to their big brother. Kol speaks before Nick gets a chance.

"I'll stop if you do," Kol says glaring at his irritating little sister.

"Stop it Kol," Nick demands. What gives Nick the right to tell Kol what to do?

"Who died and made you Dad?" Kol shoots at Nick.

"Actually Mikael did. And he didn't just die, I killed him." Nick finishes with a smile and a look that says Kol will end up the same if he doesn't pull his head in.

"Fine," Kol huffs, "I won't touch them. Now get the fuck out of my way." He shoves past Nick and Rebekah, just wanting to be anywhere but here.

\---

Damnit, those wretches were right. Kol's feet have led him to Jeremy's house, and he could've sworn he was wandering aimlessly.

Kol flops down on the couch beside Jeremy. In the past one would've taken a seat, sat politely, perhaps even perched, but these days people just flop.

"Did you sort everything out with Rebekah?" Jeremy asks.

"Sort of," Kol replies with a sigh, thinking of his horrid siblings. Sometimes he wonders why he puts up with it. Out loud he says, "and that pack of arseholes wonder why I never stick around for more than a decade." Jeremy will have no idea what he's talking about. Is it weird to dump this on Jeremy? He is Kol's best friend after all and that's what mates do, isn't it? But what if you're also in love with your best friend? Surely that's got to complicate things. And what if the reason you need to vent to your best mate, who you're in love with, is because you're copping shit off you're siblings about your best mate, who you're in love with? Surely that's got to really complicate things. Yep, Elijah was right, Kol is just plain messy. Bloody hell...feelings. Who needs them?

"Well I've got some news to cheer you up," Jeremy beams at Kol. "I made the team."

Wow, that news really does cheer Kol up.

"Congratulations. I never doubted you would."

That earns him a delightful smile from Jeremy, who continues on to tell him, with air quotes included, that the coach said he had a 'killer swing' and 'was an asset to the team'.

"The coach seemed surprised that I could take on such fast pitches. Actually I was too."

"It doesn't surprise me," Kol says with a knowing smile, "I've been working on building up the speed I pitch to you at. Lately I've been pitching to you at just over 100 mph." Jeremy's eyes widen in disbelief. "You can thank me later," Kol finishes with satisfaction.

When the surprise wears off a smirk creeps onto Jeremy's face.

"How about I thank you now," Jeremy purrs, climbing on top of Kol. It's so out of the blue that it takes Kol a moment to realise where Jeremy's heading with this. Kol looks into Jeremy's eyes and no one has ever looked at him the way Jeremy is looking at him now. Like Kol is the answer to a long held question. Jeremy leans in and captures Kol's mouth in a heated kiss. And because he wants to, Kol returns Jeremy's kiss. Kol's had enough of denying himself the pleasure of taking what he desires.

"Mmmm, that was even better than I remember," Jeremy says, leaning back and licking his lips. Remember? Crap.

"But that's th-" Kol begins to say.

"Please, don't even try," Jeremy says with a grin, "your compulsion sucks."


	18. Chapter 18

Can life really be this good? Is Kol allowed to be this happy? His first thought is no. It's not that he doesn't want to be happy, it's just a feeling that something will happen to drag him back to reality. Maybe Kol's just being morbid. It's a little bit of an adjustment, being here with Jeremy, after centuries of wallowing in the macabre.

"Do you ever want to drink my blood?" What a thing to ask. Especially while Kol's sitting on the couch with Jeremy straddling him. Doesn't Jeremy know you should never tickle a sleeping dragon?

"No," Kol answers honestly. Jeremy pouts, now what's Kol said wrong? He thought Jeremy would be pleased with that answer.

"Aren't I yummy enough?" Jeremy says adorably. With lightning speed Kol grabs Jeremy and flips them over so Jeremy's pressed beneath him.

"Oh you're plenty yummy enough," Kol says before capturing Jeremy's mouth in a hungry kiss. When Kol pulls back Jeremy asks, "why don't you want my blood?"

"Blood's food Jeremy," Kol explains, "and for a predator food is anything that's weaker or submissive. You can't be food and an equal." How can Kol put this so Jeremy will understand? "You wouldn't marry a steak would you?" Jeremy takes a moment to consider this and Kol's sure he's made his point.

"Marry?" Jeremy says, feigning innocence. Oh for God's sake, that is what Jeremy would take out of all that.

"You know what I mean," Kol says with exasperation. And since Jeremy's brought up the subject of blood, Kol's got something he wants to ask Jeremy. Kol sits up and pulls Jeremy up so he's doing the same. This is serious and Kol can't really be expected to concentrate with Jeremy lying beneath him.

"Will you take some of my blood?" Kol needs Jeremy to do this, he can't lose him and the world is a dangerous place, especially for a mortal. That endearing frown settles itself on Jeremy's face and Kol goes on to explain. "It's just a precaution. In case anything should happen to you."

"Why?" Brat. Is Jeremy really going to make Kol say it?

"Because I-," Kol begins, but pauses to rephrase. "You're important to me."

If the smile on Jeremy's face is anything to go by, Kol hasn't screwed this up too badly. Jeremy pulls Kol close and kisses him. When the kiss ends Jeremy stays so close that Kol can feel Jeremy's lips moving against his own as Jeremy asks, "when?"

"Now, if you're ready," Kol answers, moving back enough so he can see Jeremy's face.

"I'm ready," Jeremy says but Kol wants to make sure.

"I want you to understand what this means if something does happen to you. It means you'll need to feed on blood and that you'll live forever."

"I do understand," Jeremy says, eyes full of sincerity, "it means we'll be together forever."

Kol leans in close, so his lips are almost touching Jeremy's when he whispers, "forever is a very long time." Kol bites his tongue, letting his mouth fill with blood.

"I hope so," are Jeremy's last words before Kol kisses Jeremy, allowing the red liquid to flow from his mouth into Jeremy's. Jeremy drinks it down eagerly. Kol's caught in the sensations; the feel of Jeremy's seeking mouth on his; the thrill of Jeremy's tongue sweeping over the open wound on his own tongue; the taste of his blood mingling with the taste of Jeremy. As he shares this gift with Jeremy, Kol's on the verge of something profound. But he loses the thought because what could be more important than what's happening here and now?

\---

"About last night," Jeremy says, "I don't want to be a vampire." Jeremy says it like he's scared Kol won't want him anymore. He looks to Kol for reassurance which Kol is happy to provide. Kol wraps his arms around Jeremy who buries his face in Kol's chest. Kol murmurs to Jeremy, "I know darling, I know." Jeremy pulls back so he can look at Kol.

"You do?" he asks with surprise.

"Of course I do," Kol says, pulling Jeremy as close as possible and holding on tight. For a long time vampires have bought nothing but fear and pain and heartbreak into Jeremy's life.

Deep, deep down Kol knows that Jeremy becoming a vampire is an inevitability if they want to stay together but for now he doesn't listen to that thought, it could be years before that happens. Right now, in this moment, it's not important. What's important is that Jeremy's happy.


	19. Chapter 19

Insurance policies are the topic of conversation in the Mikaelson house tonight. Life insurance to be precise, but not the paper kind. Killing Bonnie has really stirred Elena and her groupies up, so the Mikaelson's need to be ready. A little birdy, aka Caroline, has told them that Elena, Stefan and Damon are plotting some revenge.

"They won't come after me," Nick says, "they won't risk Tyler. Not to mention I _am_ the head of the Salvatore bloodline. But the rest of you need insurance too. Rebekah, you'll turn Matt and Kol, you'll turn Jeremy." Nick says it like he's telling them to set the table for dinner. But this is a little more serious than laying out the cutlery. There's an obvious solution to this problem that his siblings are missing. Kol's about to tell them so but Rebekah speaks before he can.

"Matt doesn't want to be a vampire."

"That's irrelevant. You'll do this Rebekah, and you'll do it soon," Nick says firmly.

"But I don't want him to hate me," Rebekah whines back at Nick.

"Then lie to him, compel him, I don't care, just get it done."

They're still not seeing it so Kol takes it upon himself to enlighten them.

"Couldn't we just kill them?" It's the logical solution.

"NO!" All three of them screech at once. Geez, extreme reaction much? Kol really doesn't see a problem with it.

"That's not the answer," Nick says in a tone that lets Kol know he's being deadly serious, "you won't touch them." Bloody hell, what's got his knickers in a knot?

Nick's not going to back down on this and Kol doesn't want to end up daggered and packed away in a coffin again for the next hundred years so he doesn't argue. A hundred years hadn't mattered that much last time but this time it means he would never see Jeremy again. It's best if Kol just does what Nick says and so he'll turn Jeremy. It's the selfish thing to do but if it's a choice between never seeing Jeremy again and turning him against his will, Kol will take the latter option because he can't lose Jeremy now. And as always, there's the overriding instinct of self-preservation.

"That just leaves Elijah..." Nick ponders, "who to use?" Nick thinks for a moment, grins and says, "we really are running out of options aren't we? Nearly everyone in this town they care about is already turned, or dead."

"Actually, I've already got mine," Elijah admits sheepishly. They all look at him, unsure where this is going. Elijah looks reluctant to continue, but he knows he must. He fixes his gaze on Nick and reveals it was his blood that turned Elena.

Shit, it'll be on now, Nick was angry with Rebekah but this...

Kol and Rebekah look from one brother to the other, what's Nick going to do?

"What?" And what Nick means is Elijah better hurry the fuck up and explain.

"It wasn't intentional," Elijah hurries to say, "you're aware that Meredith used vampire blood to heal Elena? Well, the blood was mine." Who the hell is Meredith?

Nick's glaring at Elijah and Kol's waiting to see what he'll do when Rebekah bursts into laughter. The brothers all turn in unison to look at her, wondering what could be so funny. They wait for her to gain control of herself and when she does she says, "perfectly healthy...has it's own personal doctor...good one Elijah." Now Kol gets it. Elijah's been screwing the doctor. But why on earth would he give her his blood?

Nick's out of the loop here and the look on his face says he's not very happy about it.

"You all better tell me what the fuck is going on here," Nick says, "or I'm going to get dagger-happy real fucking quick." That comment silences Rebekah's laughter and Elijah explains.

"Meredith's smart and beautiful, it's not unreasonable I'd be attracted to her. When she asked for my blood I agreed because it was to help people. She made me feel like less of a monster." Yeesh, Elijah's old hang up, it's one that's never bothered Kol. Strangely, it almost sounds like Elijah is justifying his choice of lover more than his actions. "Plus I can't have who I really want," Elijah finishes bitterly as he gives Nick a meaningful look. Oh. _Oohhh._ Realisation dawns on Kol with that look and makes him appreciate that his own love life isn't that messed up after all.

"We'll finish this conversation later," Nick says pointedly, cutting Elijah off. Nick turns to Kol and Rebekah, "don't you kids have work to do?"


	20. Chapter 20

The wheels are in motion on their latest plot. Rebekah managed to get Matt to take some of her blood and now it's up to Kol to finish the job.

"No backing down this time sis," Kol says gently, "we've both had our moments of weakness and this time we can't afford them."

"I know," she says with reluctant acceptance. Kol feels for her. Their shared dilemma has resulted in a surprising closeness between them.

As he approaches Matt, Kol knows he should be enjoying this a lot more than he is, the prospect of killing has always excited him. Plus he's been given permission to kill his sister's boyfriend, what brother wouldn't be happy about that? But killing Matt is just Kol going through the motions, his hearts not in it, because his thoughts are turned towards Jeremy and the knowledge that he'll have to do the same to him soon.

Kol grabs Matt's head and twists until he hears a snap. It's all over in the blink of an eye and Matt crumples to the floor. Matt didn't even see it coming. Rebekah walks in then and she's crying. Crying isn't something she does often, she's more likely to get angry than upset. She sinks to the ground beside Matt and lifts his head onto her lap. Her tears continue their steady flow and Kol pities her.

"Want me to stay?" Kol asks.

"Just for a little while," Rebekah says, reaching for him. Kol takes a seat on the floor beside her, leaning in close to comfort her.

"I've made the wrong choice," she sobs, "I thought I was still in love with Stefan, I did this to protect him, but Matt didn't deserve this."

Kol puts his arm around her and tells her it'll be alright, because what else can he say?

Kol suggests they move Matt somewhere more comfortable. Rebekah agrees so Kol carries Matt to the bedroom and lays him on the bed. Rebekah perches on the bed beside Matt and she seems calmer. Kol's got to go, he's having an attack of conscience of his own.

"You'll be ok now?" Kol asks Rebekah.

"Yes," she replies softly, not taking her eyes off Matt.

"I'll see you soon," Kol says and then he's gone.

\---

Seeing Rebekah's conflict has made Kol realise he can't go through with this. She put Stefan above Matt and already she regrets it. At least she sacrificed Matt's mortality for someone else, not herself. Kol has always put survival first, they all have, they wouldn't still be here after a thousand years if they hadn't. But somewhere along the way Kol's priorities have shifted and his own survival isn't top of the list anymore, Jeremy's wellbeing is. Kol's sickened at how close he came to using Jeremy to save himself. It's a strange, new feeling putting someone else ahead of himself. It's wonderful and terrible at the same time. To care about someone enough to put their life before your own is completely uplifting, but it also means you have so much more to lose, that much further to fall, and that's frightening. Having something worth protecting means you need to actually work at protecting it. And if that means Kol has to go against his family's wishes for Jeremy's sake then that's what he'll do. Nick will understand that...hopefully.


	21. Chapter 21

There are so many reason's Kol should turn Jeremy. To save himself, because it's what his family wants him to do, so he won't lose Jeremy. It makes complete sense to do it. But Kol won't. He won't for the simple reason that it's not what Jeremy wants.

Jeremy's sitting out on the porch when Kol arrives at his house. Doesn't he know that any vampire could attack him out here? Jeremy's only six feet from the front door, why can't he just sit inside where he's safe?

"Hey Kol," Jeremy calls when he sees him coming up the path.

"Hey yourself," Kol huffs, "can't you sit inside instead of out here?"

That wipes the smile off Jeremy's face, "what's wrong?" Where to start? Kol's a little on edge right now, he just wants to get Jeremy inside and then maybe he'll be able to think. Kol knows he's being irrational, there's no real reason Jeremy should be in danger right now, but that doesn't mean Kol's fear isn't real.

"Inside now," Kol demands, pushing Jeremy through the front door. Once they're inside Jeremy turns to face Kol, concern on his face.

"What's the matter? Has something happened?" Jeremy asks, a hint of panic in his voice.

"You could say that," Kol says, pulling Jeremy into his arms, needing to be as close to him as possible. Jeremy tenses for a moment with surprise, but he soon relaxes and returns Kol's embrace. Kol's determined never to let go but eventually Jeremy pulls back, seeking answers. Jeremy doesn't have to voice the question, it's written on his face. Again, where to start?

"Rebekah turned Matt," Kol tells Jeremy. Surprise and then confusion cross Jeremy's face.

"It must be more than that," Jeremy says, "to upset you so much."

"You're right," Kol sighs. When did Jeremy come to know him so well? "I'm supposed to turn you too." Jeremy backs up a step, and he looks scared. There was a time when Kol would've enjoyed it, but that time is gone. Now it hurts to think that Jeremy could believe Kol would do anything to harm him.

"I won't do it," Kol says, willing Jeremy to believe him. "I don't care what happens to me, it's not what you want." The fear on Jeremy's face transforms from fear for himself to fear for Kol.

"What do you mean 'what happens to you'? Who's making you do this?" Jeremy asks. Kol sighs. He's sick of having secrets so he tells Jeremy everything.

"Elena, Stefan and Damon want revenge for what we did to Bonnie. Nick made Rebekah turn Matt so they wouldn't kill her. Nick already has Tyler and it turns out Elijah's blood turned Elena so that just leaves me. Nick wants me to turn you because Elena won't hurt me if it means she'd hurt you too." It's a weight off Kol's mind to share this with Jeremy. Jeremy is silent and Kol can't read his expression. Finally it's a look of determination that settles on Jeremy's face.

"Let me talk to Elena, maybe I can change her mind," Jeremy says. Kol's not so sure.

"Elena won't like it. She'll see it as you siding with the enemy."

"I know," Jeremy says in voice that's barely more than a whisper. In that moment Kol begins to grasp the depth of Jeremy's feelings for him. Jeremy's putting Kol before his family and Kol knows that's the hardest thing in the world to do. Kol also knows how important family is and he doesn't want to be responsible for Jeremy losing the only family he has left.

"I can't ask you to do this," Kol tells Jeremy.

"You're not," Jeremy replies, "I want to do it. It's my decision and I'm going through with it."

"Then let me go with you," Kol offers.

"No," Jeremy says, "I want to do this on my own. Elena will take it better if it's just me." Kol doesn't like this at all and it must show on his face because Jeremy says, "promise me you'll stay away."

What should Kol say to that? Is it more important to protect Jeremy or to do as Jeremy asks?


	22. Chapter 22

"Elena, can I ask you a favour?" comes Jeremy's voice from inside the Salvatore house. Kol's been standing out here for nearly an hour while Elena and Jeremy chit chat and Jeremy works up the courage to ask her this question. Kol promised Jeremy that he'd stay out of it, but that's impossible now, Jeremy's far too important to him. There's no way he was going to let Jeremy walk into a house full of vampires unguarded.

"Sure Jere, anything."

"I know what you're planning to do. I want you to promise that you won't hurt Kol. And I want you to ask Stefan and Damon to do the same."

"Why?"

"Please Elena, can't you just do this for me?"

"But I don't understand..."

"You don't need to, can't you just do it because I asked you to? I never ask you for anything."

"Jere please, whatever he's told you, whatever you think you have to do, I can help."

"I don't need help, he's not forcing me to do anything. I just need you to leave him alone. Please."

''Jeremy, it doesn't make any sense. Kol is a monster, like the rest of them, he's not your friend."

"Actually, if anyone's not a monster in all this, it's Kol. He had the option to turn me to save himself and he didn't do it. In this whole fucked up mess, he's the only one who's done the right thing, so leave him the fuck alone."

"Why are you so determined to protect him?" Elena pleads. It takes Jeremy a moment to answer and when he does he's fired up.

"Because I love him ok? Is that what you need to hear? I love him. He's the only person in the world who doesn't see me as Elena's brother." Wow. For Kol hearing those words is like finding something you didn't know was missing and then wondering how you ever lived without it before.

"Jeremy, you can't possibly love him." Elena sounds baffled. Hey! Why does she find it so hard to believe?

"Don't tell me who I can and can't love," Jeremy shoots back. "You have no right to tell anyone who they can love, you can't even figure it out for yourself." Below the belt, nice one Jeremy.

"You're one to talk," Elena replies and now she's angry too. That puts Kol on alert, it hasn't escaped his notice that Jeremy is now arguing with an angry vampire. "What about Vicki and Anna and Bonnie. You cheated on Bonnie with Anna! I'm not the only one with a messed up love life." She sounds quite smug when she finishes that little rant.

"Oh please," Jeremy scoffs, "none of that was love." Kol's glad to hear it. "Vicki was a cheap root and a way to score drugs, Anna was my ticket to becoming a vampire when I went through my emo phase and I only dated Bonnie because I thought it would come in handy to have a witch on side. Which it did." That shuts Elena up and there's a tense silence before she speaks again.

"I can't make that promise Jere," Elena sounds genuinely pained, "they killed Bonnie and Jenna and Ric, have you forgotten that?"

"Of course not," Jeremy sighs. "If you're not going to promise then there's something you need to know. I drink Kol's blood every day. If you touch him, I'll kill myself."

"Jeremy no," Elena pleads, "it's not the life I want for you."

"It's not the life I want either. But if you force me to, I'll do it. And if he dies, I'll die too." There's nothing left to say after that so Jeremy leaves.

Kol's waiting outside for Jeremy. Kol hears the door close behind Jeremy and jumps out of the shadows, grabbing Jeremy around the waist, pulling him close. He can feel Jeremy's heart hammering away.

"Kol," Jeremy says with relief when their eyes meet, "you scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry," Kol says with a smirk.

"No you're not," Jeremy says knowingly.

"You're right, I'm not," Kol says playfully. A little slow on the uptake, Kol sees it dawn on Jeremy that Kol didn't stay away like he was asked to.

"What are you even doing here?"

Kol gives Jeremy a do-you-even-have-to-ask look and says, "did you really think I'd let you come here alone?"

"I guess not," Jeremy says and then a worried look comes onto his face and he turns kind of pale. "How long have you been out here?"

"The whole time." Kol's words turn Jeremy a shade paler.

"And did you hear what we said?" Jeremy asks looking awfully worried, his voice barely more than a whisper.

Kol smiles when he leans in close and says "every word."

"And?" Jeremy's breath catches and his eyes shine with fear and hope when he says that one word.

Kol reaches up and cups Jeremy's face between his hands, "and...I love you too." Kol closes the small distance between their lips and kisses Jeremy like he's never kissed him before. Because this time there is no fear, no doubt, no confusion. Nothing but each other and the knowledge that they are both exactly where they want to be.

The End...?


	23. Epilogue

"Stefan did you leave the blood out of the freezer again?"

Stefan can't remember doing it but maybe he did because Damon doesn't look so good.

"I don't think so. Why? What's wrong?"

"I'm seeing things," Damon says. Damn, not again, Damon's hard enough to deal with when he's normal, Damon normal anyway. He's near impossible when these visions start. Stefan really should be more careful about freezing the blood as soon as he brings it home.

"What did you see?" Stefan asks, but he's not sure he wants to hear the answer.

"It's the weirdest one yet," Damon says looking disturbed. Shit, it must be bad if it's freaked Damon out. "I saw that youngest Original and dumbest-brother-ever making out."

"Rebekah?" That's not as bad as Stefan had imagined.

"No," Damon replies uneasily, "the youngest boy one." What the fuck? This is weird even for Damon.

"Maybe you better check to see if it's real," Damon says pointing towards the window. Stefan indulges Damon even though he's sure there'll be nothing to see. He peers out the window and holy shit, it's not in Damon's head. There is Jeremy snogging Kol Mikaelson. Now Stefan doesn't feel so good either.

"What's the matter with you two?" Comes Elena's voice from the doorway. Neither of them can find the words so Elena, following their gazes, peers out the window too.

"Oh that," she says with disgust, "yes, it is going to put a hitch in our plans."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, rereading this has been hilarious. Like in some ways it's pretty bad, but I think it's kinda funny and actually has more of a plot than most things I've written since. The way Kol sees the world and his reactions to his family are basically just me, I'd kind of forgetten how much of myself I put into him, lol. Anyway, there is a sequel I might post if people are interested. Hope you enjoyed this little bit of craziness.


End file.
